Princess in a castle

bought a victorian night gown

So, basically, I’m pretending like I’m a troubled society woman spending a year by the coast because I’m recovering from a mental break. I start writing, to save me from the boredom, to make myself whole again

Telegrams get sent out, nobody is asking for me, have I been forgotten that easy?? Well, at least now I am free to be happy and mad, long hair, a candle, a dressing gown flying in the wind as I pad across the soggy grass with my bare feet, feeling beautiful and free.

I have always wanted to be a princess in a castle. When I was a kid, I dreamed of a concept similar to Zoom, to allow kids to stay home, alone in their rooms, listening to the teacher over video, but mostly doing what they wanted. I loved to be left alone. I remember those hot Australian summer days, when I would wake up at 10 with the curtains closed, and I would flick the big light on to read in bed till well into the afternoon. When I would finally leave, the sun would be blinding. I loved weekends when my parents would take a nap, and I would watch tv and do my craft du jour.

And now I have it, parents permanently on hiatus, alone in the big house with my lover, no less. I work online! I am not very needed or necessary to the team! This whole year, I have rarely had an alarm. And it is confusing to my grandparents, who live in my subconscious and also my basement. Easy life my grandma says, patting the tattoo I have of the word “ease.” Bro, I’ve tattooed it on myself and made it my prophecy! — for better or for worse.

The for worse being when I become gremlin-like or ghostly, leaving a pile of mess wherever I go. Feeling ugly and maybe also like I hardly exist. But it’s so good, it’s so good when I own it, when I let my grandma watch me watch tv, on a Tuesday afternoon! Okay, tbh I still turn off the tv when she enters the room, but I’m working up to it.

But I like that image, I like it enough to buy a Victorian nightgown online.